May 21, 2012

Miss Independent (x 2)

"I wanna do it!"
"I can do it!"
"Let me do it!"


A small sampling of the phrases we hear from wee L. every day, all day! At almost 2 she is becoming an independent force to reckon with!! No longer will she sit quietly (well rarely) while I dress her. She must try to do it. Every. Time. Have you ever watched a little one try to put on socks? It's a fruitless endeavour for the most part. Neither the toes nor the socks seem to cooperate!  Let Mama help?  No way. It can be a struggle to let her let me help get the clothes on.  When I ask her to find shoes, L. typically goes for her rain boots because those she can get on all by herself!


This new found independence that L. is embracing so whole heartedly is hurting my heart a little. Where did my baby go? Those days where she totally depends on Mama are fluttering in the wind, ready to be blown away by the approaching storm of childhood. Well, I'll hope it's not an actual storm. Maybe a light rain shower mixed in with mostly sunny skies! While I am so totally amazed by the new things she does, says & learns every single day I find myself wishing I could slow down the process. Just a little. Not forever. A little more time to hold her close (minus the wriggling away so she can move on to the next fascination).


But I can't. And I know it. Her independence will grow & I will continue to be amazed at the wonder that is L. Before I know it, we'll be picking courses for university, choosing residences, shopping for household items to outfit her new place.  Wait, WHAT?  Slow down!!


The truth of the matter is these things I described above; they are actually happening.  Now. Talk about chaotic emotions.


Meet Miss Independent #1, or the Original MI if you will!  The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity with her as well. Come August my baby will no longer live under my roof. Seriously. I blinked and 19 years have gone by. Talk about a hurting heart! I can't believe it's time for this already. We might need to revisit my earlier thought about slowing down the process. For real. Could I have a bit more time? I'm not ready! A few more snuggles, nights spent under covers watching rom-com movies, trips taken just the 2 of us.  Please, can we do it all again?


We can't. 
M. no longer says "I wanna do it!" (well actually sometimes her requests actually do sound a bit like L's!!) she can do it. By herself. All the time! She is ready to take her next step just like L.


I better get ready because this isn't stopping.  And in all reality I do not want it to. Yes, it would be lovely to keep them tiny forever but they will always remain that way in my heart.  And as for that, it may be aching a bit right now but that will soon be replaced by that amazement that comes as I watch them learn & grow, the love I feel for them that only increases over time and my overall pleasure with having been blessed by these two unique girls.


But right now, I'm going to watch L. serve up "breakfast" in her playhouse while sipping my coffee that M. so graciously delivered!!  Independence isn't all that bad!








read to be read at yeahwrite.me

41 comments:

  1. i know what you're thinking .. one of mine is gone and doesn't "need" me and the other while living here will be at UW in the fall and really doesn't "need" me.

    i try to focus on their joy.

    b

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's all you can do, focus on their happiness & hope that you have guided them well.

      Delete
  2. I'll still always need you mommy <3 love you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This post reminds me of my daughter. She's always trying to do things on her own and she always says, "No Way" when I try to help. THis is my first visit from Sits! It's amazing how your oldest is 19 and your youngest is a couple years old. Was it tough becoming a mom all over again or is it like riding a bike?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comment. It's really not tough doing it all over again, it's actually quite refreshing to be a little older this time around. I think I have more patience now than with my first!!

      Delete
  4. as a mama of a 2+ year old and auntie to kids in their 20s, i get this. loud and clear.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It is such a hard phase. When to help and when not to. Often times not helping means they fall or fail a little and that is tough to watch too. Most of all they are growing up and boy oh boy it does happen fast! It hard on us mommas! No matter what the age.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Aww it hurts my heart to know one day my babies will be grown. Its a relief to know that I won't see them as anything but my babies though. Beautiful post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! For sure, no matter how old M. gets, she will always be my baby. And since I had her so young (and alone) we have this incredibly wonderful relationship that I wouldn't trade for anything!
      Seeing their little personality traits & individuality blossom is so worth it!!

      Delete
  7. I have 3 kids in the independant stage and 2 still in the wanting help stage. As much as I know I will miss the clingy stage when it's finally over, I admit that I'm looking forward to the independance. I just want to pee by myself. Is that so much to ask?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! I know, I was there! Able to finally close the bathroom door, or at least have no unexpected visitors while there. That's all gone. Peeing by myself is once again a distant memory!!

      Delete
  8. Hahahah....what a fun age.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it is! I had forgotten how much fun. Glad I get to experience this part again!!

      Delete
  9. When my youngest reached that stage she insisted on dressing herself and the outfits were appalling. Every new item of clothing she got she would not take off for days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, we're not there yet, but I'm sure that's next. Maybe she'll have a good fashion sense - haha!!

      Delete
  10. It's funny but as mine mature, I really have no regrets over the passing of time. I do wish I'd been able to enjoy them more when they were toddlers, but as they become more independent, so do I.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My sister has four children. One away at college and three more down to two years old. I know it's a roller coaster of emotions for her, and it would be for me too!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Every day my kids learn something new - and you are right... it is exciting and sad at the same time. hugs because you are right - we just can't stop it. I'm not ready for my kids to stop calling me Mommy and start calling me Mom.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You are so right here -- time moves way too quickly! I never understood just how hard it must be to be an empty nester until I had kids. I can't imagine how I will feel when my oldest goes away to college. Luckily, I still have some time.

    And your little miss independent made me smile. I have one of those on my hands :-) My husband and I were just joking today that our youngest is 12 months going on 12 years. There is nothing she thinks she can't do!

    I enjoyed reading this even though it made my heart hurt a little bit. My thoughts are with you as you prepare to let your oldest take wings. Remember you prepared her well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for your comments. I do hope I prepared her well for her journey into the world (!!). But I know she knows I am always here to help if she needs it.

      Delete
  14. Awwwww... I can imagine though I don't yet have kids. Time flies and they grow up so fast!

    ReplyDelete
  15. these changes, grow us all don't they? so hard to watch them learn to do things {painfully slow} all by themselves - - and then to have two doing it?? yikes.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I just sent my oldest off to her last day of kindergarten. I was all teary eyed and remembering the days of when I gladly did everything for her. You never know how fast time flies until you have children! Enjoyed this one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I just put my oldest on a plane last evening for her first international travel experience - without me!! At least she'll be with my brother, but she was on her own so always a little scary for Mom!!

      Delete
  17. Great post - how lucky you are to be at two such different stages with your daughters!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks - I do feel very lucky & extremely blessed to be able to do this not only once, but twice!!

      Delete
  18. I can't even imagine how it feels to have a child moving out!
    I mean, as a Mom of three (6, 2.5 and 6 months) I do find myself repeating "only 18 more years till the kids are gone, only 18 more years till the kids are gone".... but when it's really time for them to go? I'm sure it will an entirely different ball game.
    This age from 2-3 was a very trying one for us too. I remember our now 6 y/o NEEDING to do his own zipper, put his own shoes on, get his own hat and mitts on.... it took us an hour to leave the house.
    But then before you know it they're 19 and moving out!
    Thanks a lot for sharing this. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, yes I definitely need to leave more time now to get ready to leave the house. Can be frustrating, but usually just makes me smile!! Don't wish it away, it really does zoom by. :-)

      Delete
  19. We're at the college stage. I'd give anything to go back in time to kiss their fat little hands and pudgy cheeks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww...they definitely are precious moments to cherish (without sounding too cliche!!).

      Delete
  20. I plugged my ears and I wasn't listening. My baby (12) is NOT going to continue on this ridiculous path of growing. I'm not having it. None of it. Bull crap.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Let me know how that works out!!! :-)

      Delete
  21. I almost felt like this was like looking through the looking glass and seeing two versions of the world coming together. I really like the way the end created a perfect hinge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for your comments - glad you enjoyed it!!

      Delete
  22. Why can't we DVR life? So that we can slow it down and glimpse back at precious times just one more time? Whoa that was sappy, but you have hit me in the uterus. My oldest is going to high school and my youngest is leaving elementary school. How did this happen? Ellen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww! I think we have DVR'ed it all - it's there. Ssometimes it takes a while to dig out, but when you need it, it can be found! Good luck with the school changes. Those ones can be tough, but I'm sure your "babies" will do just fine (as will mom!)!! :-)

      Delete
  23. Indeed there is a sweet side to independence! Happy to be here reading.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Must be so interesting having two with a large age gap and the different types of independence. My daughter started the "do it myself" phase much earlier than my boys, though! I think they'd let me cater to their needs forever...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, interesting is a good choice of word to describe this! Good luck with those boys!

      Delete